*a prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages

The restaurants are sloppy, the food lame, the owners & chefs mostly rather indignant & pissed off. The Fish & Anchor episode where a hungry man was kicked out by the furious dragon-lady host was hilarious.

But Ramsay saves the day as Santa with a team of interior designing elves. He manages to improve not only the restaurant menu & facade, but apparently the lousy attitudes in 2 days flat. Almost a Dr. Phil who knows his amaretto from his amuse bouche. Ramsay has no problems hamming things up & joining the odd argument for your viewing pleasure. He unapologetically dishes out the truth while cussing, & you even pity the man for trying harder to save the business than its shareholders.

Kitchen Nightmares has all the right ingredients, & a good dose of reality for anyone ever wanting to start any business. You would think that fresh food served to the right table is a simple recipe, but they get it all wrong.

Yet, appearing on a such a Restaurant-Rescue tv show is just a huge blob of bad publicity for any serious restaurant, looking to peddle good food without the dramatics.

On Sunday morning,

gingerly sifting through the newspapers,

to Astrud Gilberto.

From watching Friends

1. Traffic policemen named Hanson & Petty love being flattered by obvious puns on their name.

2. Make sure your walls are thin. Or else life would be an absolute bore.

3. Do not count Mississippi-ly unless told to do so. Effectively, that means never.

4. Hiking in Europe will get you action every single time.

From watching the Office.

1. Always, always type the right email address. Packing & Packer are not the same.

2. Be careful which Temp guy you choose to run your errands. You may have to call him Boss tomorrow.

3. Sausage-eating skills are essential in becoming Regional Manager. So is fire-walking. And carrying eggs in spoons while blindfolded.

4. If you hear strange noises at midnight on the Shrute family farm, do not investigate.

5. A beard, or the ability to sprout facial hair, gives you extra credibility at work.

Wonder if #5 applies to the fairer sex.

From watching SATC

1. Do not put on any random firefighter’s overalls at the local fire station.

2. Twenty-somethings live in dumps & skimp on toilet paper.

3. Don’t marry a man who replies “Alrighty” after you propose. Avoid men who say Alrighty to everything.

I never thought I’d say this, but I am a public nuisance. Or specifically, a public nuisance-klutz.

You know when it’s raining really heavily, you’re the only one at home(who’s awake) & you realize 10 minutes too late that clothes are still hanging out?

It is undoubtedly one of my least favourite activities in the world. Rightfully so, because I am terrible at taking in clothes, soaked & heavy in the howling wind. No walk in the park. I might even fear it a little. Blame the intimidating grey skies, plus that I can be a terrible klutz.

I dropped it.

I dropped the darn bamboo pole.

I don’t know which part made my heart pop into my mouth, almost falling out of the window, or seeing the bamboo pole drum the concrete pavement with a satisfying thud.

Thankfully it hit no one. As if picking up the laundry in the rain was not punishment enough, the pole snapped & I had to get rid of it before some smirking cleaners.

Blimey.

How was your afternoon?